Friday, July 29, 2005

TRANSITIONS

Groovy Aunt and Bro-in-Law are off to Russia next week to get Ducky. It's been a long road but it looks like they will have their Ducky home by September 1st.

Excited and overwhelmed sums up Groovy Aunt's mood. Getting visas, airplane and hotel reservations, more doctor's letters. There's lots to do before the trip but Groovy Aunt seems to be taking it in stride. She's got her eye on the prize: Ducky will be in Brooklyn soon.

OSFO can't stop thinking about Ducky. Or more to the point, can't stop wanting to buy things for her new cousin. "Hey, these pink shoes will match those pants we got her." she said as we walked into Peek-a-Boo Kids earlier today. "Ducky doesn't have rain boots. She's gonna need these." she says holding bright red Wellies in her hands. "Look, Ducky and I can dress alike. They've got a party dress in her size and my size."

And on and on.

Smartmom is really curious how it will really be for OSFO when Ducky arrives. This is a major transition. When Groovy Aunt got married, it was a real adjustment for Teen Spirit and OSFO. Prior to her marriage, Groovy Aunt was available 24/7; she slept over all the time and particpated in many activities. After her marriage things changed a bit.

OSFO still gets upset when Groovy Aunt has to go back to her apartment. "You always have to go home to cook dinner for
Bro-in-Law," she'll cry as she clings to Groovy Aunt's arm. "Why can't you sleep over?"

So you can imagine what's ahead. Groovy Aunt's is bound to be preoccupied with her Ducky. It's gonna take a lot of getting used to. For both of them. OSFO is sure to feel that she's been replaced and will most likely experience moments of anger, even rage.

And jealousy. And jealousy. Imagine Groovy Aunt holding Ducky in her arms and kissing her big cheeks. And more: OSFO won't be the youngest in the family anymore. That will take some getting used to. All eyes will be on Ducky for a while and that's going to be hard to take.

And what kind of playmate will Ducky be? OSFO is probably fantasizing that Ducky will be the best playmate in the world. Wait til she finds out that she's just a one-year-old baby who may not be interested in doing what she wants to do.

There will be trouble ahead: you can bank on it. But Smartmom knows that OSFO will adjust. And having a new cousin will be worth the trouble.

Change is hard for everybody. Groovy Aunt and Bro-in-Law are on the verge of a huge change in their lives: they won't know what hit them. Whooosh. Good bye free time. Sleep. Quiet dinners. Movie nights. Time to think. For a while anyway.

Hello diapers, playdates and playgrounds. And loving someone more than you ever loved before. Welcome passion and fear and worry and protectivness.

OSFO's world is also about to change, too. So is Smartmom's. She's been the sister with kids for so long. And Groovy Aunt has been the Groovy Aunt. Everyone is going to have to adjust to their new roles, their new identities.

It's going to be an interesting time for everyone.

23 Comments:

At 4:42 PM, Blogger Third Street said...

thanks for your lovely piece about "Transitions". Yes, I'm geting very nervous thinking about all the changes my life will be taking in less than 2 weeks. It is hard to fathom. I''m pretty scared about it - I will miss my childless freedoms - the carefree manner in which I've lived my life thus far - well, not always carefree - there was hardships, disappointments, envy etc - But at the moment it seems rather carefree in hindsight. And I'm not sure what's coming - I know it is big and profound - But I don't really know what it's going to be like. So wish me luck and thanks for all the support - and hey, those wellies sound awfully cute - and every girl needs a pair, right?

 
At 12:11 AM, Blogger Udge said...

Wow, it's finally happening! Fingers crossed for everyone.

 
At 8:29 AM, Blogger Little Light said...

I'm so happy for your family. That piece was beautiful.

 
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At 11:34 AM, Blogger Helen_of_Sparta said...

A big big big congratulations to Groovy Aunt and Bro-in-Law -- after all that waiting, they'll finally get beautiful Ducky. :-)
Also, I think it's wonderful that you are so involved in what your kids will be feeling. I'm impressed that, despite being so caught up in Groovy Aunt's new baby, you're still able to realize that not everything will be "groovy" right away. But congratulations again!

 
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