Thursday, March 31, 2005

Waiting for Sonia

Once again, Groovy Aunt writes about what she is feeling on the long, windy road to adopting Sonia in Russia. My heart goes out to her: she has no idea what to expect and a deep longing to be with her adopted girl.

This adoption process has been far more stressful than I ever imagined. I didn't spend a whole lot of time deciding whether to adopt: my infertility treatments had failed and I was very, very sad. The whole experience had been very intense with many ups and downs - moments of hope followed by crashing disappointment and dispair. What I did know at the end of it was that I still wanted to be a mom and to create a family.

So adoption seemed like the logical next step. I knew there were many risks, but I did what I often do - I closed my eyes and dove in.

So here we are a little over a year later waiting to meet our Russian baby, Sonia. We have her photograph, which was taken when she was 3 months old. Now she is 8 months old. When we see her, she will look very different than she looks in her picture. I have no idea what to expect.

I met a nice woman who told me that she felt attached to her adopted daughter from the Ukraine the moment they met. And the little girl, whose name is Elana, almost immediately began to hang onto her and hasn't let go two years later.

There's lots to know about life in the orphanage. The children don't necessarily drink milk. And they eat very strange foods like fish soup every day. When we get Sonia, we'll have to be very sensitive to her diet and not introduce foods that she may not be used to like sugar or milk. Some of the childrens' eyes are very sensitive because they are not taken outside very often; Sonia may need to wear sunglasses when we go out to Prospect Park.

The woman also suggested that we introduce Sonia to Russian speaking people as a way to gage her orphanage experience. If she enjoys "talking" to the Russians, it means that she has fond memories of her time in the orphanage - if she recoils, then, perhaps, she does not. She also said we should start looking for a speech therapist because Sonia will most likely need one.

So there are a lot of things to think about. She also said that one of the first things we will probably do at the orphanage will be to read to Sonia because it helps the bonding process. She also said her daughter is so attached to her now it makes her laugh to think about all her worries about Attachment Disorder.

So what did I do? I went to Barnes & Noble and bought "Good night Moon" and "Pat the Bunny". I also bought some developmentally positive rattles and toys. I couldn't resist a cute pair of little, pink shoes called Robeez. These are the small things that are helping me prepare to be a mom - to assuage my worries and to imagine my new life.


At 5:15 PM, Blogger mamainwaiting said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 5:16 PM, Blogger mamainwaiting said...

thank, smartmom for posting my piece about Sonia. I'm looking forward to being a mom with you.

At 5:20 PM, Blogger mamainwaiting said...

thank, smartmom for posting my piece about Sonia. I'm looking forward to being a mom with you.


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