Sunday, January 16, 2005

Svetlana

In this post, Groovy Aunt shares her joy at getting the photo of Svetlana from the adoption agency. While there is still the chance that Svetlana may not end up in Brooklyn, Groovy Aunt's community of family and friends can't contain their excitement about the well-swaddled infant.

The Photo

We received our baby's photo. Her birth name is Svetlana, she is 5 months old, and she is a cutie.

In the photo, she is swaddled within an inch of her life. In fact, you can't see her body at all because she is wrapped from the neck down. Apparently, swaddling - the wrapping of a baby in a receiving blanket - helps the child feel warm, protected and like she is still in the womb.

Svetlana has enormous cheeks and possibly red hair although in the documentation it is described as light brown. Her eyes are gray but it's hard to tell that from the picture because she's lying down. Thank you Real Fruit Jelly for suggesting that we turn the photo from vertical to horizontal.

Svetlana looks like she may have just awoken from a nap.

There is, however, the unfortunate possiblility that our first trip will be delayed because of new restrictions passed by the Russian Government effective December 30 2004. We may not be able to go to Perm for another 2 to 3 months. There will be more information next week. She was apparently relinquished by her birthmother, a 24-year- old resident of Pirm with one child already, at birth. There is practically no medical information about her except one typically Russian diagnosis that is mentioned on the documents of every baby born in Russia. Last evening I emailed her picture and the written information to Dr. Jane Aronson, the renowned "orphan doctor" who will evaluate the information thus far. We await her reply.

Receiving the photo has changed EVERYTHING. Suddenly, this experience feels all the more real. A lot of the fear and tredpidation have dissipated. Last night, I slept better than I have in weeks.

I dreamed I was pregnant and my stomach was protruding. In the dream, SM introduced me to her friend and pointed to my belly, but apparently the friend couldn't tell I was pregnant -- she had no idea what SM was pointing at. Then I went to a party and had some wine and suddenly remembered I was pregnant. I felt terribly guilty and remorseful, convincing myself that I had damaged my unborn child.

I woke up relieved that I had been dreaming. My stomach actually did feel full and protruding. I immediately picked up the picture by my bedside, and felt a wave of contentment and calm. There is a baby, and she is quite possibly mine.

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