Friday, January 21, 2005

The Pathos of Blogging

Smartmom checks in with a few bloggers on a regular basis. She tries to limit this to a selective group as blogging can be time consuming, even addictive. But Smartmom has actually gotten quite attached to the special group of blogs that she visits.

On a daily basis, Smartmom stays connected to a small group of bloggers who are like family. Some are even family: Mamainwaiting, Oswegatchie, Udgewink, Laments of the Unfinished and 32 Poems.

Smartmom has even added some new blogs to her "check-in-daily-list": Travels in Booland and Cousin Lucy's Spoon, are, respectively, a mother and daughter each with her own unique blog. Helen of Sparta rants lovingly about her eleven year old sister and "her generation," while Unenchanted Rants comes from a young mother in Georgia who has a thing for Van Gogh.

But Smartmom has gotten to know another group of bloggers. These are bloggers that Smartmom appreciates in a quiet way. They don't know her from Adam and she never leaves comments -- she just reads what they have to say and finds their daily struggles quite compelling.

For example, there's the divorced mom of two in Colorado who writes: "Dedication to self has been and continues to be one of the hardest lessons for me to learn, because I'm always so wrapped up in taking care of others." And the lesbian who, with her partner, is waiting to adopt in the mid-west. There's a woman in San Francisco who is on the verge of buying an apartment and taking a trip around the world; her boyfriend just quit his job to write. And the "flaming gay guy" also in San Francisco who writes: Another Christmas, come and gone. My father departed, the tree taken down. Rufus Wainwright's "Memphis Skyline" set on repeat. Wishing I weren't quite so lonely in this enormous old house."

Smartmom has no intention of revealing the identities of these bloggers. Or even leaving comments. Sometimes she is tempted to say something but then she doesn't know what to say. She visits their sites in a very private, very quiet way. And just listens.

There is poignancy in their voices. Sometimes she feels their pain. Sometimes she roots for them. They have captured her empathy in a heartfelt way.

Like this pensive post from the mom in Colorado:

"Now, I'm alone and they (her kids) are off visiting other places as they sleep. The dishwasher is swishing, the computer is humming and the quick clickety clack of the keyboard as I type are all the sounds that keep me company. It's like a strange yet familiar song. It's a good time to take time for me. Thinking. Writing. Dreaming. "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." I just realized I'm smiling."

Smartmom can practically see this woman sitting at her desk. The kids are asleep and her music is playing; she's getting her thoughts down before bed. As she thinks, writes, and dreams, she is forging a connection between herself and those who read her words around the world.


At 10:13 AM, Blogger krenneke said...

oh, your post itself is very poignant. I almost cried, ok, take almost out: I cried. Call me a fool.

You can't espece the pathos when you are actually writing on it...

At 10:40 AM, Blogger krenneke said...

Hey Smartmom, many thanks for the offer (guest blogging). Can you send me an email so that we negociate the thing? ;)

thanks again...

At 1:00 PM, Blogger Savtadotty said...

Thank you. Your generous spirit moves me.

At 5:29 PM, Blogger jonesy said...

eavesdropping :) fly on the wall. love it.

At 7:48 PM, Blogger red eft said...

SmartMom should be called WiseMom.

WiseMom is the blogger's blogger.


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